


A Panacea for the Absent Soul (Still It's Never Enough)

by The_Eldritch_IT_Gay



Series: Life of a Ghost [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Disabled Character of Color, Drabble Collection, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Torture, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Talon - Freeform, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-22 03:11:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8270387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Eldritch_IT_Gay/pseuds/The_Eldritch_IT_Gay
Summary: A collection of drabbles revolving around Malik Ramos and Jian Mikami. Not in chronological order, just random glimpses into Malik and Jian's stories.





	1. A Moment of Clarity (2075)

**Author's Note:**

> As a writing exercise, I've been trying to write a paragraph a day, I've started turning some of the paragraphs into actual fics. I have actually written a lot about Malik and Jian, and I realized I should start posting some of the writings (as I know a few people interested in their stories).
> 
> óvò

Curled up on the cot, they clutched the dog tags and cross tightly against their chest. That was the last connection to who they were before. So many of their memories were warped and twisted- they couldn’t trust them. But the necklaces... the necklaces couldn’t lie. Clutching them made them feel real and alive, reminded them that they were more they what The Others said they were. Still, part of them knew that clinging desperately to the past was pitiful.


	2. Left Behind (2069)

When they opened their eyes, the first thing that hit them was the excruciating pain.They gasped and choked, struggling futilely for air. Rolling onto their side they heaved, blood and bile spraying from their lips. They tried to pull their knees to their chest, but they couldn’t- and were far too terrified and dwell on that fact. With the only eye they could see out of, their gaze quickly was drawn to the tag on their wrist. Digging into their raw and bloody arm was a plastic black tag with white letters: Priority 0. 


	3. Left Behind [side B] (2069)

He looked down at their crumpled form. It looked like someone had propped them up against the rock- no. When he moved closer he could see the unnatural curve of their spine, the sickening way their leg twisted, and the abrasions on their head that still dripped with blood. Some of their wounds were gaping open and festering, others haphazardly stapled and discolored; There were tourniquets on their legs, long forgotten- gangrene creeping up what was left of the limbs. The black tag on their wrist had dug into their skin enough to bleed- a sight all too familiar for him.

“Yeah,” He sighed, “They left me behind too, chico…”


	4. Lost in Time (2071)

Do you know what it’s like to be left behind? What it’s like to do everything right but get no recognition- to just get shoved in the shadows? I changed the world, saved billions of lives, and yet, my story is the one left out of history books. I don’t think you’ll ever understand how that feels. I was a hero, but they left me to burn, they left me to _suffer_. They erased all my achievements and tossed me aside like a broken toy.


	5. Ambiguity (Post-Fall)

Somewhere along the way, they stopped seeing the world as black and white. Where they once saw black and white, all they could see is grey. They had never felt so alone and paralyzed; they could see through all the lies of people claiming to know what’s right and wrong. Sometimes they were tempted to believe the lies, so they could pretend to know what to do. They wanted to pick a side and go back to believing that there is a clear right and wrong. But they couldn’t, the truth had left them broken and terrified.


	6. The Mission (2067)

The quiet thrum of the engines was the only sound as the team sat in the transport. No one mentioned the empty seats, or the blood and viscera on the floor, or the bloody shaking mess that was their teammate. The newest recruits had hid in the farthest corner of the transport- a few sleeping or unconscious, others wearing headphones and trying to distract themselves with music. At the front of the transport, three of the agents sat close together, the three leaders of the team. Silence was heavy between them, the youngest of the three laying with their head in the commander's lap as they shook and struggled for breath. As the transport began its descent, everyone held their breath, eyeing the body bags, blood, and empty hands. No one looked forward to going to the mission debriefing and relive the horror of what had happened.


	7. Hit (2075)

They weren’t given a name- and that should have set off red flags from the start. All they had was a picture and a time. Everything about it screamed that it was a bad idea, but they didn’t notice. They didn’t question it, they were  _ made  _ not to. Brought back from the dead, they were reformed into a weapon- they were made to follow orders mindlessly. So, they had accepted the mission without comment.


	8. Poisoned (2067)

He could see them collapse not 30 yards ahead of him. Before he could run forward, Jesse caught his arm. He was about to turn and punch the stupid ingrate in the face, but he realized what Jesse was looking at. On the floor, near Malik’s now convulsing form was a broken canister. As if on cue, his comlink suddenly buzzed loudly in his ear in warning- there was a foreign compound in the air.


	9. Ode to the Lost (2075)

Peering around the corner, he saw them at the piano- eyes lidded, voice soft, as they played a haunting melody. He almost missed the hologram at first, from his angle, their body hide most of it. The man in the hologram looked young, light messy hair falling in his face as he played his violin. It was mesmerizing watching them both play, keeping in time with each other perfectly, synchronized and graceful. When the song came to an end, the man lowered his violin and turned to them, grinning. They didn’t look at him as they entwined their fingers with his. In the blink of an eye, the hologram faded, leaving them alone- hand empty and cold. Slowly, they hunched forward, shaking as they held back sobs, tears streaming down their face.

“I miss you, Jian.” They choked, voice raw and broken.


	10. Reckless (2062)

When he saw them, he had to clench his jaw to hold back a slew of angry comments. They didn’t seem to notice him entering- staring blankly at the blood dripping onto the floor as they fidgeted with the frayed ends of a bloodied rag. The sound of him slamming the door behind him after he entered the room seemed to snap them out of their dazed. Quickly dropping the rag, they scrambled to stand at attention, nearly slipping in the puddle of blood. Taking a step forward, he could see the bags under their eyes, the empty look in their eyes, the ashen color of their skin. He sighed, pulling up a chair next to the bed, unable to meet their eyes as he muttered.

 

“What am I going to do with you?”


	11. Slumber (2074)

Looking back on it, he wasn’t sure when it first started. He had always been a light sleeper ever since the accident, so he has obviously noticed when they crawled into bed with him one night. His first reaction was confusion- he could no longer offer them warmth and he was no longer the man they had once loved; And yet, they still curled up beside him, night after night. He never said anything about it, never even  _ acknowledged  _ them, hoping that might deter them. It didn’t work, they still slipped into his bed every night. Until, one night, they didn’t.


	12. Mutilated (2067)

The sound of rhythmic beeping and shouting voices awoke him. When he cracked his eyes open, he was surprised to find no one standing over him. A quick glance to the machines he was hooked up to confirmed that his vitals were stable- so why was there such a commotion? The tubes he was hooked up to made it hard to move, but with some effort, he managed to turn his head to the side. Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of a mangled teen being rushed in on a stretcher.


	13. Experiment (2053)

Sometimes, he could remember about before. Something that happened before the sterile white walls and the constant smell of antiseptic. He wasn’t stupid, he knew there was a time before he lived here, but nobody ever mentioned it; Even as a kid, he knew that was suspicious. The memories were never whole, never complete, they never explained anything. All they did was raise more questions. Sitting in the cold, clinical room they had given him, he ghosted his fingers over the violin in his lap. The pale instrument was the closest thing to human in the room- he nothing more than a failed experiment.


	14. Mission Aftermath (2067)

Examining the sleeping face of the patient, he was sure he had seen them before. A Blackwatch agent, if he remembered correctly. They didn’t look much older than 18, which seemed surprising, most agents had years of experience before joining Blackwatch. It almost irritated him to see such a young person part of such a violent organization. He tried to remember if he had been told their name before. They definitely stood out compared to the other agents- young, round face, thick, curly hair, tan, freckled skin, and distinctly Asian features. Suddenly, their eyes fluttered open and they let out a strangled cry of pain, one of their hands flying out to grab his arm. He was surprised to say the least, but managed to hold back his shock and place a comforting hand on theirs.

“Where am I?” They rasped, eyes wide.


	15. Cracks (2062)

Their hand was shaking violently as they tugged the needle through their skin. By now they were sitting in a sizable pool of blood and they made a mental note to leave a large tip for the cleaning staff. The adrenaline was doing little to dull the pain now as they tied off another stitch. They almost missed the knock at the door, far too focused on not bleeding out to pay attention to their surroundings. Somewhere in their pain-fogged mind they decided they should answer the door. Staggering across the room to the door, they threw it open, managing to see his signature smirk falter for the first time before the ground rushed up to meet them.


	16. Fall from Heaven (2053)

Nobody ever looked forward to injection day, at least from what they could tell. They weren’t always the one of the test subjects-  _ people,  _ they reminded themselves- so they weren’t sure of everyone's feeling on the injections. Even so, they were the one who took out or disposed of the failed subjects. Their partner was the one who did all the publicity work-  he was the perfect poster child that could be showed off to investors and higher ups. Meanwhile they were a defect, the living embodiment of the negative side of the experiment. So they hidden away and put to use erasing records, evidence, and bodies of their fellow failures from existence. Sometimes after a long day, they would curl up with their partner- especially on injection days. No words were spoken on those nights, just shaking hands clinging to each other in mutual understand; despite their age, neither of them were children anymore. 


	17. Weapons Don't Weep (2052)

He was 11 when they had first been assigned to him. It wasn’t unusual for him to be shoved and locked into an observation room- but what was unusual was for there to be another subject in the room. Sitting in the corner of the room was someone who looked to be around his age, dressed in the loose grey scrubs all the subjects wore. They glanced over at him blankly, eyes glazed and unfocused, he could still see the trickle of blood from their injection site. Slowly, their gaze fell back to the floor and they started muttering something he couldn’t quite make out. Slipping into defense mode, he crept towards them cautiously, until he was close enough to just make out what they were saying. 

“This is a test, this is a test,” They murmured, “Fail and you will be terminated.”


	18. Hostage (2062)

It was easy for them to forget their problems when there was a gun pressed to their head. There had been a gun pressing into the back of their neck since they woke up- rather than fear, their first reaction was to roll their eyes under the blindfold. It was slightly overkill, in their opinion, since they were already very much restrained. Despite that, they felt some sort of comfort in the situation, being a hostage was something normal to them by now, and they found themselves enjoying the way it cleared their head. They couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped their lips, while it might have been muffled due to the gag it still had an effect on their captor. That split second falter in the pressure of the gun and almost inaudible noise he had made. Even that tiny amount of information told them a lot, and they instantly knew getting free was going to be easy. They decided to wait a bit though, and enjoy the closet thing to down time they’d had in weeks.


	19. Control (2058)

With a quick snap, the man dropped to the floor lifelessly. Gasping, Jian scrambled backwards looking wide eyed at their friend standing over the bodies. Malik’s face was expressionless, looking disinterestedly at the blood on their hands. Crumpling to the floor, he let out a choked sob, hand flying up to cover his mouth. When they finally moved to look at him, eyes red and tired, he could see to trace of guilt or remorse. They averted their eyes from him again with a sigh.

“Forget about the good times,” They said wearily, “Forget about the good times and hate me.  _ Please. _ ” 


	20. A World on Fire (2046)

Smoke filled their lungs and blurred their vision as they tried to run. Clutching Lin close to their chest, they navigated their way around the rubble and fire. They could see bullets flying by them, some close enough to tear at their clothes and skin, the sound of gunfire deafeningly loud. A sudden excruciating pain blooming from their hip- accompanied by a sickening crack- made them cry out and fall to the ground. Pushing themselves up on their elbows, they looked down at Lin through the blood at tears. Before they could assess his injuries, falling rubble pinned them to the ground, crushing their legs and back and their vision blacked out. Crying, dazed, and afraid, they did their best to shield their brother from the debris and shakily started reciting a prayer.


End file.
